Superman II (1980)

1980

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Zod

Director: Richard Lester
Synopsis: While Superman is on a getaway with Lois Lane, the world is attacked by 3 alien criminals with powers comparable to Superman! What powers you ask... I don't know, how about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... with mind bullets.

Nick's Insight: The past few weeks sure have been hectic. First I saw this picture of my ol' pal Travolta:

As soon as I saw this, I rushed to his house to console him. I told him I would be with him until the end and that the last thing he would see is an old friend's caring face. I spent day after day with Travolta laughing, telling stories of days past, and spooning Chunky soup into his dumb mouth.

When he finally told me that he didn't have cancer, I stormed out of his house while yelling, "Well don't fucking call me again until you do, faggot!"

Other than that, I just finished up filming my next movie, Knowing. Here's a screen shot of the film:

I don't want to spoil anything about this scene, but let's just say that I may be inquiring as to "how'd it get burned?! How'd it get burrrrned!? How'd it get burned?!"

On to Superman II.

This movie lagged at parts, but overall it was very enjoyable. Although the comedic relief was too much at times, the plot was good and it developed the characters well. It also developed the romance between Lois Lane and Superman, but I was disappointed that they never got around to humping. Granted, Superman would have shattered her pelvis and his load would've exploded her head, but, c'mon Lois, don't be such a prude.

There was one scene in this movie where Superman gets fucked up in a fight at a diner. Sure, at the time he didn't have any of his powers, but I still could've beat that guy's ass. Look at what I used to do in the 90's and I was no Superman... I was just on Steroids.

the emotion is palpable

There was one part of this movie that I feel really exceeded the first Superman: the new villians. Don't get me wrong, Gene Hackman fucking rules, but this new guy is so much more badass...

General Zod is the fucking greatest bad guy of the 80's. He's gets people to kneel before him all the time, he says his own name like a hundred fucking times, AND he can fly through space without his blood evaporating.

In case you missed that last part.

Kneel before Zod (Seig Heil)

Talk about beating a dead Zod. Anyway, this movie led me to join a new church... the Church of Zod. the only true Zod, who was conceived by the power of the Holy Zod and born of the Virgin Zod. He suffered under the Pontius Zod, was Zodified, died, and was buried. On the third Zod he rose again. He ascended into the Phantom Zone where he is seated at the right Zod of the father. He will return again to judge the living and the Zod. Remain patient my children. Remain patient.... ZOOOODDD!!!!

Can you believe I reviewed this movie without one joke about Christopher Reeve, horses, or wheel chairs? I deserve an invalid.. OOPS! I mean cookie.

Adding it up: Kneel + Before + Zod + Margot Kidder's hot ass - Superman's penis as a baby during the opening credits (not kidding)= 5.7 out of 8mm