(2007)Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem
Directors: Ethan & Joel Coen
Synopsis: Josh Brolin and his mustache find a gaggle of dead Mexicans with a briefcase filled with $2 million (chump change). He keeps the money, but a hitman (Javier Bardem) with the same haircut as a down-syndromed librarian is hot on his trails.
Cage's Insight: I’ll start by saying that this movie did happen to rock my cock for about two hours. Also, the Coen brothers continue to show that they’re some of the best writers out there today. They wrote one of my favorite movies in the Big Lebowski, and this new movie did not let me down.
The main character in this movie is played by Josh Brolin (Grindhouse, Into the Blue) who is pretty sweet, but I’m starting to suspect that he grows that mustache to hide a hair-lip or something else gross... Perhaps a herpes sore. If only Joaquin Phoenix would have tried this back in the day, maybe I wouldn’t have been puking between takes on the set of 8MM.
Long story short, Javier Bardem has a sweet shotgun with a silencer, and he uses it on just about everyone.
This leaves me with Tommy Lee Jones. Let me put this lightly, Tommy Lee Jones is a motherfucker. He stole my spot in the cast of Man of the House. That was going to be a goldmine for me. Instead of me feeling up every piece of pussy that auditioned for that movie, we get Tommy Lee doing boring shit like this:
He’s in a roomful of cheerleaders’ panties and he’s just standing there. I mean c'mon. If that had been me, the movie would have ended something like this:
Anyway, I must say that this was a really good movie, but I wouldn't even say that it was better than Con-Air.
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