The Mist (2007)

Starring: Thomas Jane... No wait, Aaron Eckhart.... Nevermind, I was right the first time.
Director: Frank Darabont
Synopsis: A cloud engulfs a town and brings monsters with it. OoooOOooooH OOOoooOOOOH It's a spooky ghost story OoooooOoOOOOh.

Nick's Insight: Let me start off by apologizing for not posting these past few weeks, but being addicted to quaaludes is no walk in the park. Anyway, The good news is that the ludes made my eczema go away; however, the bad news is that I don't remember filming my new movie Bangkok Dangerous (Coming out Fall of this year!). I've been trying to find out what it's about, but no one returns my calls. Allegedly, I caused a ruckus on the last day of filming because I noticed that the producers didn't add 9 exclamation points to the end of the title like I suggested.

It's like Rush Hour but nine times more dangerous

Apparently, I screamed at a group of interns while throwing DVDs of The Wicker Man at their feet (which they deserved) and then hit a caterer in the back of the head with my Oscar. She ended up taking like a 3-day coma after that and now claims that she can't remember how to multiply (I think she's faking... and I would know. I've played doctors and shit before). But, that incompetent nobody had it coming ever since she burned my breakfast toast. When I saw the toast, I was all like...

So, back to the Mist. I was dissappointed in this movie. I'm pretty much always disappointed when a Stephen King movie blows ass. But then again, I guess they can't all be as sweet as the Shining.

This movie isn't even really a horror. It's more of a psychological thriller about how people deal with a stressful situation. You know, like a hostage situation... or like a war... or like when stupid CGI monsters trap you in a grocery store.

The end of this movie is actually pretty hardcore. Thomas Jane ends up shooting all of the survivors with the gun that he was hiding in the his gigantic dimple.

SPOILER ALERT!: No, but seriously. He does shoot his son, and it almost saves the movie... almost.

Adding it up: Thomas Jane's Butt-chin - Shitty CGI + Respectable Ending= 4.5 out of 8mm