Alien (1979)

(1979)

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Ian Holm
Director: Ridley Scott
Synopsis: A mining spaceship unknowingly picks up an opportunistic alien species that wants to hitch a ride to Earth.

Nick's Insight:

Last night I invited my buddy Phillip Seymour Hoffman over to watch Alien. We've been talking for a while about having a movie-night where we get wine-drunk and use our oscars to eat fondu, and it finally happened last night.

Alien was an incredible movie. Everything about it is awesome. I mean Everything! Well.... maybe not everything...Sigourney Weaver apparently has the worst ass since humans evolved buttholes. That ass has the sexual appeal of a beheading video. She must make awful poopers. put on some pants, you dude.

Anyway, this movie is sweet in every way. Every other movie in the Alien franchise is somewhat dumbed down, but this movie has everything that a well-rounded movie should have. I personally consider it a distant 2nd behind 2001: A Space Odyssey for the best sci-fi movie of all time.

You watch this movie and you can't help but love that alien. It bleeds acid and doesn't need eyes. Plus, guess what's in his mouth... Another fucking mouth. That's hard as fuck, son. Predator can go shit in his hat.

You said it, Jesse

Since it was a scary movie, I was pretty nervous about watching it with Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He's ridiculously fat and out of shape and I think he would have a heart-attack if he had to tie his own shoes. I mean, his blood has to look like oatmeal and I didn't want a repeat of when I gave George C. Scott a heart-attack by showing him 2 girls 1 cup.

That guy could never take a joke.

After the movie, Phillip and I were sitting around talking about the movie's tag-line: "In space no one can hear you scream." Phillip didn't understand what that meant because he's a fucking idiot who doesn't understand the physics of outer space. I berated him for about half an hour after that. The whole time he just sat there crying and eating a whole loaf of bread. He was such a bitch about it. He was all like...

It's healthy that you're finally coming to terms with it

Adding it up: Scary alien + Ian Holm bleeding milk + flamethrower - Sigourney Weaver's ass= 7.5 out of 8mm.