Wall-E (2008)

(2008)

Starring: Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, Sigourney Weaver
Director: Andrew Stanton
Synopsis: After 700 years of living on a spaceship, the human race's only chance of returning to a pollution stricken Earth lies in the hands of a robot who wants some ass.

Nick's Insight:
Happy America's birthday to all!

The 4th of July is easily my favorite holiday. It renews my pride in my beloved country, gives me the opportunity to tell off a few of my family members, and I get the rare chance to play my favorite drinking game, roadblock slalom. I normally tie on a nice overnight drunk, commit manslaughter, and wind up breaking into my lawyer's office and hiding under his desk until he gets to work the next morning. However, today was a little different.

I started my day by going by my dealer's apartment so I could get some drugs before I went to see Wall-E with my old pal Jeff Goldblum. For years we've been going to movies together and gauging who's more famous by seeing who gets recognized more. He normally wins, but, then again, he's a 6'6'' freak that looks and acts like a cartoon character. What can I do? I'm only 6 feet tall. Anyway, I bought 5 grams of brown-brown so I could properly celebrate the Fourth. I know that I just said I normally get drunk on the Fourth, but the last time I got drunk with Jeff Goldblum, he got so drunk that he puked all over one of my body guards.

What a lush

During the movie, Jeff put his weiner through a hole in the popcorn bucket. I didn't know what to say, so I just ate around it. He's always doing weird shit like that. Anyway, It was the first time I had eaten popcorn with egg whites drizzled all over it. It was good, but it tasted kinda like bleach.

The movie was pretty good. Everyone's saying how awesome it is, but it's pretty good... That's all. It was very well done and the plot itself was pretty interesting, but they lost some points by trying to make an environmental statement. Also, I was let down that there weren't any aliens in this movie. If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's dealing with aliens.

Like most problems in this world, it can be solved with line-dancing and Pachinko.

On our way out of the theater, an old lady gave us a tongue-lashing because, allegedly, we were snorting loudly and yelling racial slurs at the children in the seats in front of us. Well, needless to say, Jeff took care of her.

I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, but it's absolutely ridiculous that it is the 14th highest rated movie on IMDB. Wall-E is not better than Raiders of the Lost Ark, and It's certainly not better than Goodfellas. Get real, movie-goers.

Adding it up: Sweet animation - Attempted romantic relationship between two robots + Jeff Garlin= 5.5 out of 8mm